I'm in a very melancholy mood. As of late, I've realized how close I am to being an adult, and I'm not cool with it.
Last summer I threw myself at my friends. I had lost one of them, and I refused to think about it, instead trying to fill up all of my time.
I had a great summer. I hardly remember all the stuff we did. There were a lot of Hawthorne trips and going to malls.
This year, I want it to be awesome. As I watched my boyfriend go off to dog-sit while I waited for my dad alone on the pavement, who was an hour late in picking me up, I realized that this could be my summer. Colin has his responsibilities, I am not mad at him for leaving me to wait alone. But my other friends will have responsibilities too. They're all trying to apply to college and get jobs and live lives. Emma already will be working monday through friday. At first I didn't envy her. She had to go and be all grown up and dissect rats in a lab from 9-5 everyday while I still had time to be a kid.
I don't have time to be a kid. At least, I don't have anyone to be a kid with. Everyone is growing up, and I better grow up too or I'll be left behind. I'm already afraid I'll spend my summer sitting on my bed because all my friends are at work or school.
I don't like it.
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I'LL BE A KID WITH YOU THIS SUMMER. I'm actually putting the rest of the important grown up stuff in my life on hold to be a kid for a while. We could do lots of cool stuff. Adventures and such.
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